I am impatient, when it comes to dating. I can perfectly well explain many reasons for my impatience, but it does not help with the reality of dealing with myself 24/7. Yes, there are distractions, for example last night I tricked myself into being busy by cooking dinner my friends and spending the evening with them. Tomorrow I might go to a concert, tonight perhaps for a swim, if not for a bike ride, depending on the weather. But inside I know that all those distractions are just temporary and weak fixes and do not seem as an adequate supplements. So, I still can't wait for it to be a Saturday, and although I know I am setting myself up for a possible disastrous disappointment, I am willingly doing so, because I HAVE A DATE this Saturday, and it has not been canceled yet. I remember my recent other second date with someone else where things turned from pink to gray. I can't do much about it, only try to make sure that I won't do anything stupid. But I am excited and I feel good amount of excitement from my date as well, when we speak on the phone.
Do you remember the moments when you have met someone and everything felt just right, like you were almost falling in love at the first sight? Well, when you are almost forty, it seems almost impossible without feeling slightly silly, because our "life experiences" taught us differently. And rationally, since we all hope we are somewhat rational, we should take things slowly and be cautious. I disagree with my friend calling me needy, when I am impatient, impatient to either make one more step into a possible falling in love or as much possible hitting my bottom again hard. But I cannot believe, that all men are jerks and that nobody is willing to risk as much as I am. So, I am going to let lose, lift the foot from the brake and experience the free fall.
Poor Chompy is up to a few more sleepless nights with me. But she knows I already love her and that there is room for more.
ok...i am taking back the needy...:)
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